Theme: TWO TANGO

10.01.2021

We can jump parallel realities all the time, but where to?

To a point in time we choose by having realisations and therefore changing the circumstances, the scenario.

That’s why when you change your belief or perception of something, the very thing changes exactly to the way you believe it to be. You change the belief, you change yourself. Jump. The reality changes. Change of scenario.

That’s what makes it so astonishing, because it is instant. Or can be.

If it’s not instant just shows you the extend you are not fully convinced (not there yet) therefore in limbo between two parallel realities by still perceiving echoes of your old belief.

You are perceiving the transition. An awesome thing to be aware of.

I felt such an echo yesterday. An echo of the previous reality of Jones being incoherent in his texts, seemingly connected to his former addiction. For a moment I thought he’d gone back because of me going away. There was a flash of me thinking: Oh no, the minute I’m gone, he reverts. It was all bullshit. His transformation. Too good to be true.

My belief of and in the new him was challenged, however, I couldn’t believe in the ‘old him’ anymore. It took this moment to work through by me not acknowledging what I perceived. By not believing the old belief anymore.

However, it presented itself to me. Why? It was a last echo of the reality I had been, but I was able to let it go by thinking “OMG, he is such a good actor. It wasn’t real in the first place!” And it left. Because I left it. Let go.

It’s all an act!

I takes two to tango. Actor and Director.

Co-creation is the best way to work with someone else.

Action-Reaction.

Quentin Tarantino is an actor too so the re-acts to the actor therefore being the director to the actors performance.

Director and performance.

Who is perfect for the part?

Watch out for chemistry

Interesting dynamics

And be surprised.

Give clear instructions

Productive notes

Talk about circumstances and the task at hand

Motivation

You don’t want to listen to your own voice on set

And give constructive feedback

Bring in surprising props which suit the personality of the actor (Marlon Brando’s Godfather and the studio kitten — inspired)

Something is behind you. Out of sight. Act how you see fit anyway, it will come into view and you will be ready.

When something unexpected happens, don’t stop but improvise. Give it your best shot, make it real. It might be the most important scene of your movie.

Immerse yourself in the act. Which defines the actor. Through the act.

Act like your life depended on it. Because it does.

See the comedy in everything.

Respect but don’t overrate.

Send yourself a postcard occasionally saying “Wish you were here!”

To remind yourself.

George Sand

Nocturnal creativity consuming nibbles of chocolate and handrolled cigars

Von drei Jünglingen, denen drei Feen begegneten (French fairytale)

They danced, they fucked and they wasted 3 perfectly good wishes.

Making no wishes is the same as wasting perfectly good ones.

Where does money come from?

I had a long walk with one of my mates. A really good friend of mine I met in Amsterdam and who moved back to Berlin. For his children. He works for a well known company, has been for 18 years, and has a salary of more than €100 a year, doing minimum work. Cushty and insanely brilliant and wonderful at the same time.

I wonder if he knows more now than 18 years ago when he started or could he have easily done the job back then?

And also with so much money paid regularly plus bonuses and an expenses card, why the financial struggle?

Makes no sense at all.

He left his love in Amsterdam in order to come back to Berlin to support his children. Makes even less sense.

They don’t need his financial support, they need his happiness.

MONEY MANAGED

Maybe we have all we need at any time. How much?

However much we believe is possible. And we are worthy.

My friend has more money pouring in every month than I could’ve imagined possible, yet the first thing he said to me when we met on the street corner was: “ I hope you got money, I didn’t bring any.

Doesn’t make any sense.

How did he come to meet me on public transport?

Schwarzgefahren?

Germany is suffering from self-inflicted communal guilt.

Queerdenker control

However, debauchery is happening in secret. Communally.

Look at German porn.

It’s ridiculous.

There is blue sky … in reflection. When you look up.

It’s really interesting.

THERE WAS ONE

At the beginning there was one.

And that one separated itself. Oneself divided into two. And we label it male and female. One fraction from cell. Divided. If one sounds equally divided, the following two cells will have equal portions of the one, meaning both male and female. Therefore the experience of life means exploring both male and female.

We call this exploring our sexuality.

Which does not necessarily mean fucking or having sex. It goes far beyond the bedroom. So what we do instead of exploring it within ourselves we go and label ourselves as something else when we realise that either male or female doesn’t fit properly. So that’s why we are having all these different labels in terms of different sexual orientation. And then it seems that we are hiding within that since it feels so much better than before so why should I explore anything further?

About a year ago while I was dating on Tinder, I decided to open my profile to both the male and female which was really interesting because then I got the questions “Well, what are you? Are you bisexual? Are you lesbian? Bi-friendly? Just just messin’ about? The first three questions came from some sort of evaluation/labelling, however, the last question was always somewhat tinted with hostility I felt. And I really couldn’t answer.

I didn’t understand why I should label myself. I love both the male and the female element in everybody and everything so it doesn’t matter what my preference is because I don’t think there is one.

But I guess that’s not entirely true because I do prefer the male energy in bed. And generally. So if I prefer the company of men, does that mean I’m a man or a woman? I could also be a gay man, right? Maybe I am.

If you look closely at the anatomy of the male and the female sex it actually looks alike, just pulled in certain areas, pushed in and retracted and blown up in others. But it’s basically the same. So I could be a gay man with a tiny penis, okay super tiny, granted, I’ve seen it all. On Tinder.

From the male and female all these fractions spring, and for every fraction is a service or a product. So the more we fraction ourselves, the more products and services there are. Which is kind of fun. However, often we feel that there is so many products for so many parts of us that we got confused. And I get pissed off at the money that I have to spend if I want to service Myself within all those facets.

But then I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to.

I shave. I don’t shave around a mouth like a man but I shave around a different kind of mouth, my pussy. Same thing. So I am using a femalely promoted version. A lot of plastic and pink. They are smooth, the posh ones also move. But it’s basically the same. So if you really look at it, I do the same thing as a man, just in a different area of the body. And because I believe I am different, I get sold to, according to my belief.

Am I therefore a man, using a female promoted shaving device?

Tired.