Theme: TINDERIZED
9.02.2021
There are always questions why I don’t use photos in my profile. But I do.
Just because I’m not obvious in them it is presumed that I’m hiding.
But aren’t we all?
Hiding part of our personality we feel is … what??
Vulnerable?
Not quite sure of?
Feel is not important?
For me it’s just something else other than that. I think. But what?
We display our strengths in order to hide our (perceived) weaknesses. But for someone we meet for the first time, this distinction is irrelevant. Because they are just getting to know us.
Why are we psychologically boxing and labelling ourselves upfront and refuse ourselves the freedom for the other person to make up their mind? And yours?
Maybe by giving them the freedom, we will find out something surprising about ourselves.
But how do we make this freedom visible for others to perceive in order to attract? Especially within the space of limited amount of images and words. And who thin seconds?
We cannot be everything to everyone. Since most individuals on dating apps want the same thing. To be surprised to find out another facet of them they didn’t know. But too scared to surprise? Who?
Themselves? What if someone brings out the worst in you?
That would suck.
And profiles starting with “No Drama please” have experienced just that.
So how can I find out about myself and have a matching profile picture? Because it could literally mean a blank page.
The key is to ask: who do I want to attract?
Someone like me or someone showing me another side of me?
And which side do I want them to show me? (Would be nice to have control over that)
We think we want the same as us. But we really don’t. Because we know that side of us already. Hence we were able to meticulously collage all the images and words into the perfect dating profile. Because we know the matter intimately. It’s nice to have it mirrored back to us occasionally lest we forget, however, most of us is looking for adventure.
But for adventure, you have to come out of your comfort zone.
And how to display it without saying it?
Because adventure is more fun when not obvious.
Surprising.
An expedition.
Otherwise we might not get enough out of the experience. We might pack too much safety gear. Or look at it through our phones and Instagram.
Filtered.
To leave the comfort zone, we need a goal. The prospect of being surprised positively. Solid gold.
In order to surprise you need to be surprising. How to do?
Ok. You need a strategy.
And the willingness to embark on the adventure, meaning leaving your comfort zone.
To create tension.
And be playful.
Ask yourself:
Which do you think is your core strength?
Let’s say it’s humour.
So you create a humorous profile.
To be your best representation of humorous.
Then you swipe all the girls who seem to be the opposite of that.
Girls or/and boys you would usually have discarded straight away because they seem utterly humourless.
These are the ones you want to match with.
To potentially throw humourless into your face.
To see what happens.
And here lies the challenge you want. Not to be negatively triggered because you have your strength as your ally.
Humour.
You might be surprised.
It’s called ‘dating out of your league’!
However, when you are finally dating, you are in the league, right? 😉
And nobody plays Premier League without working on themselves …
People are in dating apps for a whole bunch of reasons (goals).
Some of them different to ours.
You could set them right.
And it is double fun if someone else is on an expedition as well.
A match.
If that’s your reason (goal).
Imagine what you could do with two or more distinct profiles making different aspects of your personality your strength using the same strategy of dating the opposite?
If done sincerely, it would be a full time job and you will have to get paid shitloads of money by Tinder.
I could think of worse jobs.
So what would be my strategy?
I don’t like to look at myself for some reason. But I am visually attracted to the obvious and beautiful. But always end up being dating quirky (funny and clever- my strengths) instead of beautiful.
I want to date beauty, with the risk of being rejected.
Bring it on!
How do I display beauty?
I need to have pictures taken by someone who thinks I am beautiful. Through their eyes perceived.
Because I am shit at selfies.
I hate seeing myself through my own eyes.
I look weird.
This is how I see myself.
That’s what I see.
But I want to date someone who sees beyond of what I see.
Someone to see beauty.
Amongst other things.
I shall enlist the help and eye of Thing 1.
He consistently takes beautiful images of me.
Somehow.
Where I am at my most authentic.
That’s what I need.
Let’s eat icicles …
