Theme: THE PING
20.12.2020
What is that stuff called magical? The pingggggg?
Definition of Magic:
- the power of apparently influencing events by using mysterious or supernatural forces.
- INFORMAL•BRITISH
wonderful; exciting.
So it is something beyond what is perceived as natural, supernatural, something that cannot be defined by our definition of nature … and usually something awesome.
Something we would like to experience. A wonder-full and exciting thing! With the feeling of awe.
I can live with that.
It’s some sort of power.
A major force. Not just a little force.
A Force majeur.
The power to influence events.
Realities.
Unexplained.
Yet.
We always try to explain things.
Put them into words.
Describe.
Define.
Anchor them in order to understand.
What about yoghurt?
Is it important to understand things?
Why is it important?
In order to make us feel comfortable about them?
THE PROCESS OF DEFINING
- We experience something new.
2. We try to explain it. What is it? What is happening? And why?
And most importantly
What causes it?
And how, if uncomfortable, can we prevent it?
Feeling uncomfortable about something new is normal. It’s a new experience and therefore triggers new sensations. These sensations are usually categorised in ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and according to that we are keen to find out stuff about the cause in order to either
- PREVENT or 2. DUPLICATE
Prevent, when we judge it as uncomfortable with the potential to endanger us.
Duplicate when we judge it as nice and we want to feel it again.
What is DISCOMFORT?
How do we feel it? In fact, how do we feel ANYTHING when the body by itself cannot?
It is a proven fact that muscles, nerves, skin etc. cannot feel by themselves.
It’s the connection to our bloody BRAIN.
And not even that.
It’s our CONSCIOUSNESS
THE MIND is the only one which can trigger any sensation, whatsoever.
Have you ever cut yourself without realising, and the moment you realise through the visual trigger ‘damaged flesh and blood’, it starts hurting?
Don’t they actually put people artificially into comas for pain relief? To shut down the body to give the person a mental break?
So if we never saw, would we feel?
We experience.
We trigger.
We define.
We feel.
If I had no concept of danger, would and how would I experience it?
If I had no concept of pain, would and how would I experience it?
CONCEPTS
Concepts exist.
But every concept is undefined.
For us to define it.
And experience.
The Concept of Fear
The Concept of Love
The Concept of Happiness … aaawwwww
The Concept of Buttholes
It is up to us to define them.
Up to the individual to create individual / custom made experiences.
And instead of being individually creative, most of the time we just go with collectively decided definitions.
Definitions someone has already come up with.
Pre-definitions
Why?
Are we too lazy?
Are there simply too many concepts that some of them we just cut and paste for convenience?
Fair enough. There is a lot to deal with in life.
But which ones are good to cut-and-paste and which ones are worth creating new definitions for?
We want to experience TOGETHER. With others we feel experiences are more fun, more intensely felt.
The Concept of COMMUNITY
(Being together)
The Universe
Planet Earth
Continents
Countries
Peoples
Families
Couples
I
Wouldn’t it be great to perceive relationships in that way?
Not because without any we would be alone and endangered, but instead WITH them our experiences are more exciting!
Not to be afraid of the lack thereof but excited about the abundance of possibilities to experience there are.
We are afraid because we perceive lack.
Does it mean lack exists?
Is it not fear itself which makes us feel uncomfortable? Fear which triggers the mind but only because in lightspeed the mind cross-references any experience with our archive of adopted definitions? Unique or pre-defined ones?
You decide
SCHABLONE (It’s a funny looking word)
It means drawing within pre-defined lines.
These are for people who believe they have to be precise in a certain task or who think they have no imagination.
As a kid it was fun to draw with a Schablone.
Once in a while. And for a while.
It is not very satisfactory.
It’s like edible paper. It’s food but not a meal.
It is pre-conceived.
Created by someone else.
The shape of a square someone else defined.
The shape of an elephant someone else defined.
The shape of a train someone else defined.
It’s boring to stay within the lines.
It can be limiting. However, only if we think that lines can limit us.
But there are also so many options within confined lines, right?
What if you take the elephant shaped Schablone and make it all colourful and re-define it as an unusually shaped flower instead?
Or the flower shape all grey with flappy ears and a trunk and re-define it as an extraordinary elephant?
The experience of the very same would be different. More fun.
(but ever tried to do that as a kid in primary school? you will be mocked and categorised into IDIOT group … that’s what school does for you)
The freedom to make use of other options and re-define things is where the really cool experiences are.
That’s where artists dwell.
There are always other options.
CREATING IS ART
I googled myself last night and there is so much stuff there I was actually a little surprised.
The stuff I’ve created at some point … doesn’t feel like me, it feels like a different person. Like an echo. Of another life. Could be the life of someone else who looks a little like me since I also don’t recognise my self.
Nowadays I have to MAKE myself be creative.
It doesn’t feel natural to me anymore.
I can remember feeling the buzz while making stuff. I could not think of anything better.
I was basically living in a workshop.
My daughter found photos of our living room from 10 years ago and I literally cannot believe anyone being able to live in such a mess at all, least of it me.
I had an big old grey elephant of a photocopier too, ffs.
Which I adored, I vaguely remember.
It was so much fun to create collages. ooooh, you big dirty toner cartridge …. rrrrrrrrrr
OMG, the living room was also at the height of my soft furnishing business so there were piles of lush fabrics all over the floor and up against the walls.
… rrrrr, up against the wall …
And my Bernina.
My industrial baby.
I could sew and glue and glitter all day and night.
Every day.
I had so much fun. And little sleep.
The only thing I didn’t have fun with was that these activities never seemed to bring any financial benefits.
It was always something short of …
Something.
I could feel it.
Every time it could go anywhere, it wouldn’t.
What was it?
And I worked hard. Being creative.
Because it was all I wanted to do, so I wanted it to work.
But making art wasn’t WORKING for me.
Or
NOT WORKING FOR ME
Lol, there it is
The disconnection.
It was a struggle financially. My creative talent never manifested money accordingly.
Or I guess it actually did exactly that. Precisely according to what I believed about my abilities at the time.
What was my belief?
That I had some sort of talent but not enough?
Some sort of apprehension to go BIG?
I remember thinking “omg, what if I get a big order how would I be able to service that? All by myself? With limited time, me and money to invest?”
I always felt that all responsibility was solely on me.
I never thought I had help or that help would be there when I needed it.
And I felt uncomfortable asking for it.
OMG, I would’ve loved to clone myself.
And let the other Me deal with all the unpleasant stuff.
That would be awesome.
And she/he would do all the stuff I don’t want to do because I’m afraid of it or I simply don’t like it .
And he/she would totally love all that stuff in order for me not to feel guilty for passing it onto them.
This is what I always searched for in a partner I guess, any partner.
A Hyde to my Jekyll.
The fearless beast.
To get unleashed when shit needs to get done and I don’t fancy doing it.
I remember a lovely boyfriend of mine, P.
He always wanted to push me ahead, made suggestions on how I can make things happen.
But I would get pissed off with him because I knew all the shit already,
I knew what needed to be done because I already thought of all that. Too much.
And it scared me.
I did not think I had the ability to do it.
Instead, I just wanted someone to do it FOR ME because I believed I couldn’t.
And I would be angry feeling let down:
FFS, Just help me by doing or shut the fuck up and leave me alone! By telling me what to do you are not helping.
When it comes down to it … I just want someone to be braver than me and take me by the hand when I am scared.
Not only talk but do something about it.
And together we can take the first step.
Me with my eyes closed.
And when I realise that there is nothing to be frightened of, let me go so I can do it all.
Because I still want to have the experience.
And it is so much more exciting after having overcome limitations.
I don’t want the other to have the experience.
I would feel robbed because it was my idea in the first place.
It would feel wrong.
I just want a hand.
Because I can do it all.
I just don’t like the feeling of I CAN’T
I just don’t like the feeling of I SHOULD
I just don’t like the feeling of I MUST
Instead
I just like the feeling of I CAN
I just like the feeling of I DON’T NEED TO
I just like the feeling of I CAN CHOOSE TO.
No limitations.
The elephant flower.
I am both Hyde and Jekyll.
So why do I think I need someone else?
Depend on their hand?
And what if it is not the right hand?
What if it’s a hand which does not know what it’s doing?
A hand which potentially leads me to disaster?
Or nowhere?
There needs to be trust.
But if you’ve always done things by yourself, trust is hard to come by.
The fear of being let down is stronger.
Let down and worse off than before.
Survival.
Presume the worst.
Rubbish really.
What about presuming the best?
Expect the Best and the Best will come knocking.
If you have poured the Prosecco.
I also know that if someone else does something for me, it’s not 100% how I would want it.
Because they are a different person.
I actually really enjoy the experience of other people’s takes on things, for a while. It’s interesting.
I can then decide if I like it or not. And add it to my knowledge base, my experience tool box.
But what I love the most about it, is my surprise.
When someone else does something I would’ve done exactly the same.
Unexpectedly.
I want more of that, please.
It feels good.
It’s a wonderful pingggggg. And the following buzzzzzz.
Resonance.
Another bit of harmony to my symphony
Such a good feeling, that’s where I wanna be.
The ping to a pong
