Theme: SAME DIFFERENCE
15.02.2021
Everyone is the same. But different.
Luckily.
It’s more diverse and fun that way.
Entertaining.
We like to be entertained.
How can you teach students how to twist?
Let’s say you look dead straight at a coin.
It looks like a yellow circle.
One side.
Flat.
You (*trust) twist it and it becomes apparent that there is another side.
And the possibilities open up.
How do you twist?
By asking questions.
The perfect piece of twist in art would be to paint a white canvas and have people see black.
Two nights ago when I met up with my friends I witnessed something extraordinary. A got excited about his idea. I felt this spark and the moment he lit and while he was going through it in his mind out loud to us, the flames were rising until he started jumping up, pacing the floor, running his fingers through his hair, throwing his arms up in disbelief with a hysterical laughter between his words.
He was literally on fire.
Fun to behold.
Fun to throw in some crackers on top.
(Hey, Brandon, does being on fire and dancing count?)
It was exhilarating to watch.
He had a vision.
He was literally creating.
He made us see.
I said: Dude, if this is your ad, I’m buying.
And then something happened:
His girlfriend asked him to explain it again to her.
And he couldn’t do it.
He tried but what came out of his mouth were incoherent words, flat and uninspired.
Water on the fire.
It was astonishing.
Fire extinguished by fear of judgement
This is what’s happening with pitches.
They squeeze the life out of inspired visions.
Horrible.
Creating stillborns
Leaving the parents deeply traumatised.
Of course parents can always have other children, but the pain of loosing the first child will remain forever.
I’ve seen it. (shit, I need to let my babies go …)
Translated into over-protectiveness with their new children. If it’s only one, it can be challenging and only gets easier with more than two.
I would love to be a midwife who makes sure they survive!
Have I been over-protective?
I believe J has been of L.
I on the other hand always made sure she is safe but left her a lot of freedom.
(OMG, my mom’s name starts with I, so reading it like that also totally makes sense … urgh … spooky)
Was I doing the right thing?
Was I who I thought I was?
I believe so.
Might L see it as lack over-protectiveness as lack of attention?
Maybe.
Did I feel that my mother didn’t care by letting us run around all day in the woods and never asking stupid questions?
No.
It never occurred to me.
I loved being left alone.
To myself.
(Which is the opposite of alone)
I hated having someone look over my shoulder.
It makes me extremely uncomfortable.
I never liked to share my thoughts or plans. I always used to work secluded and then Tadaaaaaa!
That didn’t go down well with me in art school where you have to f88king reflect all the time.
What does that even mean?
It means asking questions about what you believe, not the idea itself but the idea behind it.
But they never explained that to me.
Briefs are shit.
They are stillborns which we have to resuscitate.
How does that even f88king work?
So, you prop them up a little and put some make up on and fix their little hair if they have any, add some gloss spray .. .. and voila!
Art.
No wonder.
And by the time your major final project comes around, the one you’ve been waiting for, the one you have full creative reign over, the one which should bring you to life as an artist.. by that time you are so deeply into necrophilia that you don’t know what alive feels like anymore.
Because you are half-dead yourself.
In art school everything should be treated like a final major f88king project.
Everything should.
RELATIONSHIPS
We all play an important part in each other’s lives.
If we figure out what that role is, the one we need to play, besides being ourselves, it will be so infinitely more beneficial.
For them.
And ultimately for us.
One of my best friends didn’t have a father/brother figure in his life=being invisible to his dad (same thing) while growing up with lots of sisters.
Therefore he is searching for the father in a female form and the mother in a male form.
In our triangle of friendship play, I am the father and O is the mother.
Should I speak to A more like a bother or father figure? Maybe I am the missing link. He seeks the male in his relationships but presumes it is contained in the male exterior only to discover that most of them are female internally.
Which he knows he doesn’t need.
So he is jumping from relationship scenario to relationship scenario, only to be disappointed at what he finds.
We are so conditioned
to believe what it says (is in the tin).
Never questioning.
And then being disgusted
to taste Ravioli.
Instead of Peaches.
And still believe.
Wtf
Nothing wrong with either of them. It’s just slightly odd when you expected something else.
We are all hiding opposites in ourselves:
Confident and insecure
Strong and vulnerable.
One of them, the ‘stronger’ one, is displayed on the exterior as a guard.
To protect the ‘weaker’ one.
Be assured that their exterior displays exactly what they themselves need for their hidden part (interior) to be appreciated.
Worthy of love.
The challenge is that we are so easily deceived by the exterior .. to match our own needs.
Learn to read the exterior:
Hard on the outside — soft in the insiders
We get intimidated by hard exteriors,
we’re scared they will punch us hard.
However, we should also, if not more, be paying attention to the
Soft on the outside — hard on the insiders
Because they will suckerpunch us
Which do you prefer, a wolf in sheep’s clothing or a sheep in wolf’s clothing?
Depends if you prefer the company of sheep or wolves .. in clothes.
PRESUME
It‘s a question of right or left..
Both sides of the argument want to win.
Do you want to go the way of least argument?
Is that the right way?
What if it is left?
How about you let both sides win the argument?
Then you have a win win.
And it’s the most beneficial way for you.
Because you win.
Win win win
SLAVERY
The minute you take money for your service, you become a slave.
True freedom exists only when it is freely given.
Paying to be enslaved and then paying again for your freedom to be handed back to you?
Are you f88king kidding me?
The minute you get money for what you give, you become a slave.
To money.
The minute you give freely, you shall receive freedom.
From money.
DON’T KILL THE PITCH
Most brilliant ideas start with the sentence “OMG you know what would be totally awesome?” This is what every pitch should start with …
I prefer
the company
of wolves
In sheep’s
clothing.
We are so scared to be wrong.
It’s not a question between right or wrong.
Ideally we want someone we trust to signal 👍🏽 when we’re right and signal 👍🏽 when we’re wrong.
Saying 👍🏽 to both.
And then “Whatever, Dude, take your pick”
Then it doesn’t matter what we choose.
If we still want to make a choice, we need to set another parameter for that choice because right or wrong just went out the window.
What is your parameter?
Fun? 👍🏽
Excitement?👍🏽
Saving the world?👍🏽
Take your pick.
The choice is always
Yours Truly.
6:45am in Amsterdam
Sirens everywhere
What is going on?
Every school should have two banners
QUESTION EVERYTHING
and
THINK FOR YOURSELVES
Meaning everything, including the teachers and the school, the system, the concept, the structure. the format.
Nothing is beyond your questions.
Ask the teacher: what the f88k have you done lately other than marking my work and killing me with stillborn briefs?
MARKETING
Omg, I shall keep my Mars MONSTERBALL Sweatshirt and let it be worn by everyone I meet.
And post it on Instagram.
The very same shirt.
The prototype.
Just on different people.
It’s not about producing lots of the thing.
It’s about creating a vision and multiplying the message.
With the prototype in different settings.
Not with many in the same setting.
OPEN SOURCE
I want my diary and ideas to be an open source.
Because I am implementing them in my life, therefore I am benefiting from them.
As I speak.
Who cares if someone else is successful with ‘your’ idea when you are already successfully applied it and therefore successful in just that?
It only sucks when you doubted your idea because now you have proof it was a good idea.
Somebody else believed in.
Being precious about something means you are doubting.
Simply push the imperfect ugly thing out there.
And see what happens.
F88k it
DATING APPS
If you believe you
create good content,
you can use the service
for free because it works
perfectly without.
How is your content doing?
Is that why you got a
subscription?
The irony is that we are both, exterior and interior, in equal measures.
And strong.
But we believe that one of them is weak, not worthy of appreciation and therefore vulnerable, hence the other has to work 24/7 on protection.
Being a bouncer.
Getting shit all the time.
F88king exhausting
There is fair 👍🏽
There is unfair 👍🏽
And there is also
Fair enough 👍🏽
There is also something which looks fair that could be unfair.
And something which looks unfair that could be fair.
So why not consider fair enough first?
Fair enough for you.
And then decide what is fair or unfair
Or not.
I remember listening to inspirational videos and them always going on about living your full potential, and that once you know what you want, everything will fall into place and once you have the vision for what you’re put on earth to do .. yadiyadiya..
Lol, it’s all f88king true.
However ,I can see it now from where I stand but I could not see it from where I was before.
In a nutshell.
I always believed that once I am that person, which seemed so unlikely back then because I could not imagine how this could happen, I was to become someone else. But that was the most stupid idea. Because it doesn’t work like that.
It works like this instead:
Everything is already there.
Like you’re a pile of perfectly stacked wood with bits of twisted paper, dry and perfectly cut kindling and the firelighter underneath.
Everything highly f88cking flammable.
You are already totally there.
The one thing which seems to be missing, is the spark.
So we think that we have to wait for the spark to come our way in order to be lit. And some of us wait their whole lives, waiting to be on fire while fiddling with our stack as not to get bored but questioning the point of it all.
The irony is that everyone has the spark already there.
But what is it?
My spark was basically the question “Is it fun?” and the notion that nothing is worth doing if it’s not fun.
For me.
I didn’t know it was my spark at the beginning, but I had to start somewhere because I felt I was stuck in my nutshell (Thumbelina?) and I couldn’t see myself out of there.
Feeling so small.
Maybe the initial decision was to have a laugh while being in the nutshell because then it wasn’t so bad being in there, right? I think that was the absolute beginning for me. I didn’t believe that this would actually lift me out of the nut but I believed that it would make the inside of my nut more fun. And since more fun was the thing I wanted to commit to, I started slowly decorating my nutshell with more fun rather than waiting for fun(*ds) to come and liberate me.
It took a while but there is a point when you feel it catching.
Just a little.
And once you’re just a little lit, you find more bits that are fun, or at least in my case, and you just throw them on your stack (which already contains fun bits) and then the fun of those starts rolling around together and become alive and then something else comes up that’s fun and you do that, too. And the more fun I had, the more moments of having fun presented themselves.
And I would grab them and say ‘this is my kind of fun’ which added them to already all the other fun stuff that was on the fire.
Fun fire 🔥
The key is not to wait but to do what you love NO MATTER THE OUTCOME
Leap of faith.
And worth it.
But beware.
In the beginning the moments of fun where further and between and it was easy to give up faith because you’re in limbo. You want to move but you’re not quite sure which way. Your only lifeline is keep on doing what you love, which in my case is having a laugh.
And you’ll be good.
And remember to recognise the moments when you are ‘there’ and consciously marking them as ‘I feel I’m there’ … and demanding MORE OF THAT PLEASE
And relax and be excited, for it is coming.
But it’s not just generic ‘fun’ with me, it’s more than that.
I could’ve gone out there and create an Instagram account called FUN and be like yeah I’m the party girl, I’m having fun and this is fun and look at me having fun here and look at me having fun there and look at me have fun in there. But that’s not fun. It might be for someone out there but I believe it doesn’t stay fun but becomes hard work.
Most of the time.
But that’s not what I want.
BRANDING
Take it into branding: If you want to sell ‘fun’, the question is HOW TO PACKAGE it. And in marketing terms it’s like ‘Who is your customer? Who is your target audience? Let’s ask 1500 women what kind of Erotic Fantasies they want to hear ... @femtasy. It doesn’t work like that. Or is limited.
Don’t ask the blind (to your vision) what they want to see!
I‘m having fun because I am literally laughing my head off doing my #freyavonbulow Instagram posts. And it doesn’t matter if someone else finds them funny because I am having the best time and I’m sure there’s someone out there amongst 8 bio people who thinks it’s funny too, even mildly amusing, and that’s all that matters. In the end, for the message to come across, it only takes one person. Not 1000 not 10,000 not 1 million.
If there is even one person out there who is having as much fun as I have, my message is transferred and that’s all that matters. Meanwhile, I’m having fun so it’s a win-win.
My favourite.
Fun x2
For me the key trigger was to start writing a diary to be aware of all the serendipities that are coming in suddenly and to ask questions when I was in doubt of it all, when I wasn’t feeling too hot, to whether I am still having fun and if not, what can I do to make it so?
It goes deeper than that but I can’t be bothered explaining it now.
I have something better to do, don’t you?
And remember to pour in the milk first before you pour the coffee because it makes you save, both coffee and milk.
Therefore money.
(Freya’s free money saving tips)
You’re welcome.
Shall we meet someday, you can buy me food with the money you saved.
But you don’t have to.
I don’t mind either way.
But have fun!
FFS
Now I’m having my coffee while slowly going through my Luckies.
Two puffs at a time.
Oh, did I mention that words have always been my strength?
So use your strength because you know already what your strength is, and add your spark to it.
The rocket fuel.
Whatever that is.
My idea of fun, in my case.
Now, F88k off, I’m busy.
Having fun. Posting What ifs
