Theme: OLD LOVES
Diary Entry: 24.06.2021
Whatever we presume about an experience, we presume right.
And according to the experience we seek.
Don’t like the experience?
Come to think of it:
Def. matter: “that which occupies space and possesses rest mass”
Mad hatter = matter?
I am bored of writing.
It seems I’m able to sort things out in my head now.
Turn around beliefs there.
I went for a shower and the minute I entered the bathroom, the electricity went off.
And with it the water heater.
I had to shower cold.
Which is not conducive for shaving bikini zones.
And I had to boil water in a pot on the stove.
And there is no light.
And no internet.
Like being in fucking Ghana.
This is hilarious.
It feels I’m overlaying my experiences.
I can experience a reality where both Amsterdam and Ghana are combined.
This is what I’m learning.
Maybe that’s what I was supposed to do before, when moving to a different country.
I pride myself for being able to completely burn bridges.
To jump into a completely new life scenario and leaving everything behind.
And then being in the new and completely falling in love with it.
And mocking and blocking the old.
Like leaving one lover for another.
Throwing the baby out with the bath water.
But maybe that’s not what you’re supposed to do.
Maybe you need to keep all the good stuff — the stuff you fell in love with way back — and take it with you and overlay it with the new.
Making the experience the more epic and perfect.
But instead I completely walk away.
However, in a way and in the case of moving from the UK to The Netherlands, it was u canny that both places_realities have a lot of similarities.
Look at the language ffs.
But I have never been able to go back to the UK.
And love it.
I only go because L is there.
What am I afraid of?
To fall back in love with it?
Yeah and what then?
It looks like such a mess there.
Boris Johnson is a complete moron.
And then the hell with my tenant last year.
But yet …
I still haven’t done London.
I guess it would be awesome to be there with an amazing creative job and money, living the life.
London is fashion.
London is art.
London is fun.
I guess I want to fall in love with it again.
Hence I will go to get myself a ticket for the Beautiful People Festival in September.
It is decided.
I shall move between Hamburg, London, Amsterdam and Accra.
Because old loves stay with you forever.
Embrace them as part of you.
In the now.
Research seeks confirmation.
Depending on how bad you want it, you shall find.
When we study we don’t learn facts.
We simply learn a language.
Also nothing less.
Because language is needed to create new realities.
Are we creating?
Instead we are trying to explain realities which don’t serve us anymore.
Which are failing.
Hence we fail.