Theme: HAMLET YOUR ASS
02.01.2021
To be or not to be? There is no question, we cannot but … be.
Being both, being and not, is the key.
I noticed that if I apply myself and then not, that I find a sweet spot.
Caring and not caring
Hugging and not hugging
Loving and not loving
When I do this, I feel good.
Like doing a good job and also not really giving a fuck.
Caring for a person but also not giving a shit about them.
It feels good. The tension of it is energy.
Being only one or the other is boring. And pointless.
Only being good (whatever that means) is only one sided and lame.
Only being bad (whatever that means) is only the one sided and lame.
But being both some time or other is fun.
It tickles.
There is a buzzy energy I notice.It feels like stroking hot alive carpet but with your whole body including your organs.
I first noticed this feeling the moment I learnt how to hug, properly.
I was at my favourite music festival in Croatia partying on a boat. That place is my happy place. Fantastic music and beautiful people 24/7. I started chatting to this girl on the top deck and she suddenly asked me if I had met her boyfriend. It was as if she asked me if her butt looked in this, and I was like shit … erm …
She then proceeded to explain that he gives the best hugs and then shouted “Oy, Casper, come ‘ere and give this lady a hug!” And then this guy, who was standing on one of the benches, hands in the air, suddenly stopped dancing, climbed down and came over. He looked a bit like a shortish tidy bear with a nice smile. Since I was no stranger to good hugs (my mother was a good hugger) I thought cool, and launched into it. We didn’t hug, we embraced each other. Since I was no stranger to embracing strangers either, I thought cool, and started doing my thing. But this guy was a different story. I noticed that he suddenly relaxed and sank into it, the embrace. I felt at the same time lightly squeezed and let go of. It was the most amazing sensation. And I relaxed into it too. Unfortunately it took me a little longer realising what was happening and before I could explore this feeling further, he was already letting go, climbed back onto the bench and threw his hands in the air.
I was stunned. This felt amazing. It was a buzz I felt, and it felt like I felt him. As if he was part of me. And it lingered for minutes. Profoundly astonishing.
The sinking into. Relaxing into.
Relaxing is such a buzz word but do we know what it really feels like to let go? How would one describe the act of letting go? To relax?
It could be like doing something and then stop doing something. But that’s doing something else, right? What is it, this something else? It’s not something different but the opposite?
Action and in-action … action in not-action which is action.
Same but different
How do we know something is different to something else? If it looks and feels different?
How do we define different?
Unfamiliar?
Unlike?
But unlike in what way?
What does it mean? How do I know?
When we think ‘different’ we usually think separate. But when you say it, there is a small part in the word ringing in your voice which also means ‘same’. Not quite same but rather ‘similar’.
Curious.
Ok, so this buzzy feeling I never forgot. And I started to practice embraces. The Casper way. And telling this story.
When I don’t know someone very well, I usually just hug to check if they are a hugger. Hugging often freaks people out, And now with this whole 1.5m social distancing diet we consume, even more. But hugging feels so nice. It’s that feeling of connecting. A combination of love and support. When someone really embraces you, let’s you into their personal space, it means everything: feeling included, welcomed, trusted, supported and loved. And it signals all of that to others in the ‘group’. This feeling is everything we seek. The opposite of rejection (fear of death).
Crazy that we don’t do it often enough with each other. Instead we seek this feeling in things like alcohol, drugs, sex and food. We just want to feel embraced. To belong. Won’t be long now.
I think that last year was a major challenge to our beliefs about belonging, about community. We separated and at the same time were brought together.
Mundkapje op Zoom.
It brought us together in the global (macro) struggle, zooming (lol) out from our own personal (micro) struggles, therefore bringing us together.
Separately together.
One yet many.
Similar but different.
And in its wake unleashing major societal changes. Last year was a big jolt to human consciousness. We were challenged to see things differently. None of the rules we thought applied, applied anymore. Which brought us freedom. Especially in the way we work and live. Our priorities for spending time changed. We were forced to evaluate the things important to us. And consuming was one of them. We need to consume, sure, but what we consume changed.
Scarcity makes you take note.
Previously, time seemed scarce but stuff was abundant. Now stuff seems scarce and time abundant.
Inside out.
Suddenly we don’t care so much for only one thing (spending money on what is important to us -stuff) but also the other (spending time on what is important to us — ourselves).
This is a mathematical equation since
TIME IS MONEY
{-time+money+stuff} ={+time+(-money)+(-stuff)
Time=Money
Ok, I’m not sure on how to write this properly but it sort of makes sense.
RELATIVITY THEORY
The value of time is RELATIVE to the value of money. And vice versa
Because all of it is relative.
The more time you have, the least you have money. To spend.
time>money
Time becomes less valuable than money. And spending money equally to your amount of time means imbalance. Debt.
The more money you have, the least you have time. To spend.
time<money
Money becomes less valuable than time. And spending time equally to your amount of money means imbalance too. ?
Both are connected.
That’s about it with my math skills.
For now. I think there is something there.
I will explore it.
So the Caspar Hug introduced me to the feeling of being involved and not involved. Closely embracing and letting go at the same time.
Zooming in and zooming out.
Almost being bipolar. But on the same pol.
This feeling creates things.
It’s some sort of creative energy.
Black but white
White but black
(And I don’t mean grey, grey has it’s own dynamic with all the other colours but that’s another story)
Right but wrong (feels right but so wrong)
Wrong but so right.
High and low
Moving in waves … after a high must come a low
Summer and winter … activity and rest or different activity
Opposites are. Similar
Hot and cold. Both extremes burn in the same way.
I was under the shower yesterday. And I tried to get the right temperature. It’s so annoying that you first have to put the shower on full hot and then balance it out with cold. And there is a moment when it goes completely cold and that’s the moment I hate. It’s such a downer and can take up to 10 seconds where you stand there like a twat.
In life we always fiddle with the tap. And often we only use one tap not being aware that there is another one. And are uncomfortable. Unhappy. Imbalanced. Either too hot or too cold. Hot and cold showers in themselves are great. Each of them in their own right. Hot showers in cold climates are awesome, but not in hot. Cold showers in hot climate are awesome but not in cold.
Opposite for balance.
With life we usually say hot showers are good and cold showers are bad. Or the other way around. One or the other. And then live like that. That also means we are having hot showers in hot climates and cold showers in cold climates. And then we focus on that and say our lives are shit!
But acknowledging that both hot and cold are necessary but in different measures and depending on the situation and that it’s up to ourselves to create the balance.
Bingo!!! Then you get the Aaahhhhhh ….
There is no point shouting at the cold tab
IT’S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You need to be aware of both, the hot and the cold showers tab, in order to achieve the balance which is the moment when you go AAaahhhhhh, when the water is just right. The just right cannot be measured in temperature because it always depends on the circumstance.
The temperature is relative to the climate you’re in at that moment.
Relative to the moment.
A moment = time + location
Arschwolle-this word popped into my head, and there is such a word
https://www.dbna.com/questions/thread/ano-BPJLIQ4C6gSK/wie-kann-ich-meine-arschhaare-entfernen
Words in combination with Arsch are funny.
“Arschkäfer”
Def.: A nuissance causing irritation beyond reach or control
Pain of helplessness
“Her tenant was a real Arschkäfer, because he refused to pay rent and couldn’t be evicted because of temporary Covid regulations.”
OMG, it would be so much fun to have a website for made-up words to be put into a legit dictionary format.
To create an alternative dictionary of the people. Everyone has access
Creating new words and making them legit before adoption. Thereby being open for adoption.
Start with rude ones because it’s funny. Starting with A.
Arschkäfer
Why do we think that we live a conscious and subconscious life? In psychology it’s a total thing. And the subconscious is blamed for making us do shit we don’t want. But we can’t help ourselves. Being helpless in that respect.
Psychology then lends a hand to help our selves. It’s a conundrum.
First psychology defines us as having a part of us that makes us helpless, makes us believe we are helpless, and then it offers us a ‘help service’ at a price. Fair enough. But it is curious that there are individuals who are in therapy for years. They believe without this service they won’t be able to help themselves.
There is a service for every belief.
Serving a belief. At a believable price.
And why not?
If I believe that only expensive clothes are good quality, then I need shops which reflect that. But everyone knows that Valentino also produces in India. ( I am not picking out this great fashion house, it just popped into my head).
And does it matter? It is serving a belief.
I love these
The Prodigy — No Good {Start the (distance) dance}
We calculate every moment of our lives without thinking. Calculate our steps, calculating picking up a cup, calculating others in relation to us within scenarios etc.
So why is it that 70% of the global population think they are no good at math?
Ironic.
I love irony.
It’s funnny
Laughing about the caricature of something is irony.
Being bitter about it is sarcasm.
Laugh = love
There should be an emoji for that
(🤣+love heart emoji) = feeling good = Ecstasy
No drugs required.
Without external help but self generated.
HELPLESS
Therefore our helplessness is self-generates.
Either way.
Math is fun when you play with it.
In order to re-calculate my vision, I shall try and do the whole day without any visual aid.
See what happens.
Launching into space.
See what happens.
Changing variables in my calculations.
See what happens.
Muis — the cat never used to beg. Until you give him a piece of chicken. You opened up possibilities.
Which he is totally seizing.
Seizing the opportunity. And exploring.
But all he does is position himself strategically. And chill. And he opportunity will arise.
It would not if he started running around. Or obviously begging.
Don’t be needy. Just be ambivalent. When it happens great, but if it doesn’t, great too.
Whatever
SOUNDS LIKE
I ❤️ Dutch
Varkenshaas sounds like Fuckin’s ass
