Theme: GIVE OR TAKE

13.01.2021

We never give without receiving. Anything. The motivation of giving is always always connected to receiving. We never ever selflessly give.

And that’s a good thing.

So what is the motivation of giving?

What is it we receive?

• The pleasure of other’s pleasure
• Feeling of generosity
• Recognition
• Adoration
• Love
• Quiet satisfaction
• Maybe even Martyrdom

Giving makes us feel good. It satisfies a need.

Even when we give in the belief of sacrifice, we still receive:

The opportunity of learning with potential to immense growth.

So even if we believe we get absolutely nothing in return, it’s not true. By giving everything, we can gain everything. Like placing everything you have on Zero. Even when all seems lost, the lesson you gain is invaluable.

Nothing is truly ever selfless.

And it’s human.

Recognise the selfishness in giving as something natural and beautiful, and you gain the ultimate benefits from the experience.

Jones got to some money. He was so happy about it that he went out and bought things. For the occasion and for himself, so he declared. And his girls.

What occasion?

He always buys stuff for himself. Even when he is just popping over to Albert Heijn for groceries, it is for himself. To later create something delicious for dinner. For the pleasure of his own. Reflected in the pleasure of others, i.e. mine.

So did he have to go out and spend the extra money on extra things?

Why did he feel it was necessary?

Why did he feel that not holding onto the money more necessary? More beneficial and more pleasure in the long run?

We give to ourselves constantly. Not recognising such every single moment of the day creates an imbalance in need of compensation. Through consumption. You think you give to your self, instead you take. From your wealth.

This is truly giving without receiving.

Buying ourselves stuff often only brings short term satisfaction. Do you remember that feeling of being excited about going on a shopping spree only to return home and unpacking everything becomes a bore already?

This feeling also includes daily grocery shopping routine. What if we perceived the daily trip to the supermarket in the same way as an all inclusive shopping trip in Paris? Or London?

How would the feeling change?

And how would our life change with that feeling?

For sure, if you are into luxury clothes, going to the supermarket would become the most exciting thing to do, right? And if fashion doesn’t tickle you, find another analogy.

And that’s what shopping for ourselves is all about, the excitement as well as feeling good about ourselves. Feeling valued and worthy of a treat.

We ache for this excitement. And think money is only key to such pleasures. We believe the amount of money we spend is directly linked to the amount of pleasure we receive in return.

Symmetrical gain.

But wouldn’t it be more fun to spend less money and gain more pleasure?

Asymmetrical gain.

How about spending nothing and receiving the most?

Which would be more fun?

I know the last two are my fun.

Perceiving something also as something else gives it dimension. 3D

Letting go of the desperate need for money (not have) as the answer to everything will bestow pleasure. Because feeling is having not having the having. Because pleasure cannot be physically had. We only have pleasure when we feel it.

What do you prefer, money or pleasure?

Find ways to pleasure yourself.

Masturbate creatively.

For most of my life I have kept myself perpetually busy. For example, Monday dental appointment, Wednesday project deadline, Friday meeting with such and such. Spread out appointments over each day. I thought it helped my remember things better, keeping it clear in my head.

Hence every day I was busy.

To appear busy to myself.

I endeavour to pool appointments so I can have proper time of nothing in between, instead of constantly running from appointment to appointment and filling out the space between with more busy-ness. Or lack of actually. I would say “oh there is not enough time to start this because in 2 h I’ll have the appointment. “

Spending that time not being busy but appearing busy.

Funny.

So work and free time became the same. Workish time. It felt I was always busy working when instead I wasn’t very productive. Oh sure, I will get shit done, but I could’ve done it in half the time and enjoyed myself with the feeling of achievement the other half instead of having busy-ness constantly hanging over me.

Nessy Bus

Office culture breeds this. We have to appear busy all the time because we are being paid for it. Hence the constant rush. And people running around in drama how much they have to do, however, if they just got on with work instead of wasting time running around …I was always wondering about that, it didn’t make any sense.

And I would get told off for keeping my head down and getting on with shit.

My first big realisation about the bullshit of it all.

There are dynamics we need to understand to perceive our belief systems. These dynamics are played out in scenarios. Like in acting classes. They are acted out for us, involve us, in order to become visible. And experiential. For us to immerse ourselves in the experience in order to see ourselves and realise … be clear.

These scenarios should not be unsettling or scary however dramatic they play out. These experiences exist for us to become better at what we do. They are training programs.

“No lives have been harmed throughout the making of this human experience.”

A threat is the projection of harm but not harm itself. Most of the time we live in fear of a projection. It’s like the train that came towards the viewer in the first ever motion picture. People freaked out and ran out of the cinema. We laugh about it … however, we are doing the same.

That’s why the insurance business is booming. And they are laughing now … all the way to the bank. Fair enough.

Knowing that all is projection, we can immerse ourselves in order to learn. Play out our worst and best case scenario, untouched. Unscathed. Completely. And more complete after than before the experience.

But we can also die of fear. Believing what we see/ is presented to us can harm us in any way. Silly really. But we can see it happening all around us.

What would you tell a child who looks at a shadow on a wall made by a tree at night and who is frightened? Believing that shadow can harm them?

You switch on the light and show them that it is only a shadow.

I want to be that person.

I don’t want to merely tell them that it is only a shadow and that they must not be afraid. With words. Because in the face of fear, it is hard to see.

I want to be the one who simply switches on the light. Without a word.

Why am I so wordy then?

I use so many words. I cannot seem to be able to shut the fuck up.

Jones is very gracious about it.

Bless him

Maybe I have to go over the top with words to later be still. That would be cool.