Theme: FEAR EXPERIENCE
21.03.2021
I missed the ocean.
I realised it yesterday sitting in The Sandbox.
Watching the waves.
The underlying structure of ebb and flow.
However, every wave is uniquely different from the other.
Is life like that?
What is my underlying structure in life?
Whatever I want it to be?
I want to do things here.
I’m being cautioned to be overly careful.
To use common sense.
However, the common sense here doesn’t make sense to me.
Children and animals walking so closely to cars in the road.
I cringe at the perceived danger, their vulnerability, but they’re not in the slightest bothered.
Lack of safety is in the eye of the beholder.
Common sense out the car window.
I try to establish if my sis is simply overcautious or spot on.
I remember now that she lived in Nigeria for 3 years before settling in Accra back in October.
Lagos has a reputation for being dangerous.
Daily kidnappings apparently.
I can imagine it’s still in her bones.
Fair enough.
But it also means that things are more chill than I am being made to believe (choose to take on as a belief because I have no other references yet).
This is Ghana.
There is someone at the gate.
A skinny guy with a wide white smile.
My sister’s new house help.
Eh.
Interesting.
She’s been contemplating getting help for a while but didn’t trust anyone.
So, there he is.
A guy.
Ha, uncommon European sense.
I like this angle.
Note: I use ‘European’ in a loose sense as I haven’t figured out the right way to distinguish the two realities.
Western world doesn’t work because I am in a Western world, West Africa.
My sister’s argument is that guys do housework faster and more efficient.
No dallying.
For women on the other hand, having been forced to do the house work since early childhood by their mothers and their mothers by their mothers before them, it’s not a choice.
And boring.
No joy.
No pride.
(Unless you see it as your life purpose)
For a guy it is a choice.
Different way of working.
I like.
And being a female employer helps.
If someone likes you, their work better.
To please you.
Humans do better when they want to please.
You excel in primary school when you are in love with your teacher.
Wanting to please instead of being forced.
Big fucking difference.
Not fear but pleasure.
Creating pleasure for both parties.
I’d rather be loved than feared.
Part of my ebb and flow.
It’s also fun to be a dick sometimes.
Does being a dick and having one correlate?
Do human beings tend to bully same sex? Because once we gained a perceived ‘higher’ status we want to make sure that we physically distinguish ourselves from the ‘former’ status as not to be confused.
Desperately holding on to our hard earned status (with its sacrifices) knowing how fragile it is.
In the end we’re all mortal.
The same in the end.
Rotting flesh.
Dust.
Anyone? No?
When we’re done with the human experience.
Might as well make the most of it.
While it lasts.
The most can be anything.
Living in a wooden and corrugated iron shack by the side of the road with a chicken to call your own and selling peanuts.
Or living in a mansion.
Both extremes.
Both valid.
It’s all ‘I’m a Celebrity, Get me (in here) out of here’.
Voluntary placement.
For the experience.
To get out of what we can.
Sure, one can say: “oh you, being brought up with privileges, being European …”
But I never particularly saw it that way.
There are always people more privileged.
Those are the ones we look up to.
Measuring ourselves to them.
Forgetting the ones that have less.
And why shouldn’t we?
Inspiration and grabbing opportunities to do better is the way forward.
Always only looking at people who have less and pitying is stagnation.
In a way.
Remembering that having less material belongings doesn’t mean less love or friendship or support.
Life can be simple without load of stuff.
More creative.
Resilient.
Stuff makes us pansies.
Appreciating where we are and knowing where you want to go is the key.
To salvation.
After all, it’s Sunday.
Hallelujah.
My first week in Africa completed.
“I thank God, my fans, the producers, my manager..”
