Theme: EYE SPY
22.01.2021
Almost all of my girly friends are short sighted since their childhood.
Which is interesting. It means they cannot see very well afar. Like me.
I wonder if we want to be invisible due to some sort of trauma and therefore physically render others ‘invisible’.
Mirrored.
It reminds me of a child being afraid of a ‘monster’ under the bed but instead of switching on the light and looking, prefers to hide under the duvet. Being blind (not see) in order not to be seen (safe). A futile action indeed because monsters have an acute sense of smell.
Hide instead of seek.
In an essay called The Art of Seeing, Aldous Huxley states that visual impairment could be directly connected to psychological trauma and can be rehabilitated with reformative exercises. Psychological trauma can be as severe as physical trauma.
Let’s say after an accident (trauma) there is surgery (trauma) and depending of the severity of it, patients often go into rehab to teach the body how to function whole again. Crutches are only given initially. The goal is to learn to walk without them.
Visual impairment, however, is neglected to be perceived in the same way. Psychological trauma occurs, vision is impaired and lenses/glasses are prescribed. These are crutches. But instead if rehabilitating the vision, patients are being kept on crutches. For life.
Because we have become so very good at dealing with most physical trauma but not with mental trauma.
I remember talking to a guy at a party at my friend Sally’s who was doing research into this. I thought at the time that it was brilliant because he was an optician. It was fascinating talking to him. I need to talk to him again.
I was always wondering why short-sightedness does not even out with long sightedness? Different traumas?
Are people with perfect sight more curious? Less afraid to see?
Maybe.
Do I know anyone with perfect vision?
Can long-sightedness with age really be only attributed to relaxing of the eye muscles or is there something else?
IN A SQUEAKY VOICE
It’s so funny. I love watching my friend’s little son. He is 5 and I love how he perceives the world. And learns how to make sense of it all. There is always something new and he connects the dots. The more dots he discovers the more truthful and honest his perception of it All. The big picture. And his little child brain connects things in ways which are fun and fascinating. Constantly. Connecting in an overall manner.
If this is this, is that the same then? Overarching questions. Without bias.
It’s funny, however, how he zooms in on certain things like having his eggs in the morning JUST SO.
No room for manoeuvre.
Fun.
Was chatting with A. this morning about how she grew up with loads and loads of books in her house. And me growing up with classical music and fairytales and films. Later she went into film and I am going into the word now.
Curious.
We also talked about her relationships and each of their purpose in exposing her to film and music and politics. They were like Masterclasses. Not free of charge mind you but I guess we always pay what we believed it’s worth.
What did my relationships teach me?
Nothing comes to mind as impactful as hers it seems …
but is that right?
I always thought that I would find something in my partners that I didn’t have. There was an element I saw in them which I thought I lacked. But then very quickly I realised that it wasn’t as special as I thought because I was in some way already doing it.
I often felt disappointed because there was nothing from them to learn it seemed. But obviously it was nice to date so I did. But I didn’t expect anything from them. I felt single most of the time. Sometimes I was surprised by one of their action, however, mostly not.
But it was ok, I wasn’t unhappy.
It is just now I realised that they all had potential to be my soulmate.
Once.
And all of my men loved cooking.
True true.
Food for thought.
