Diary entry 30.06.2021
Everything is assumption.
There is no direct experience, ever.
What am I assuming about my life?
That I am not in control.
Because I am constantly torn between what I’m doing and what I believe I should be doing.
What do I think I should be doing?
A home of my own.
Do I have to DO in order to HAVE?
Don’t I always have?
By simply being?
And having the best of time, being?
What is me?
Someone who is…
Diary Entry: 25.06.2021
Kinn (German) = chin (English) = kindere (Dutch)
Kind (German) = next of Kin(n) / child
What is the root of the word?
I noticed that when I’m with someone, the first time is great.
The second time is fun.
The third time is already too much.
Usually a disappointment.
Unless love is involved.
Is three the magic number?
The first time is new and exciting.
The experience is fresh.
The conversation revealing.
Potential new truths discovered.
Different ways of thinking.
New ideas born.
Food to be shared.
Bodies to be explored.
The second time…
Diary Entry: 24.06.2021
Whatever we presume about an experience, we presume right.
And according to the experience we seek.
Don’t like the experience?
Come to think of it:
Def. matter: “that which occupies space and possesses rest mass”
Mad hatter = matter?
I am bored of writing.
It seems I’m able to sort things out in my head now.
Turn around beliefs there.
I went for a shower and the minute I entered the bathroom, the electricity went off.
And with it the water heater.
I had to shower cold.
Which is not…
Diary Entry: 23.6.2021
We make changes, we change.
Change your point of view.
You will see further.
Change it to what?
How about your opposite.
I’m basically homeless.
Which is so cool.
I came back to Amsterdam over a week ago now and I’ve been staying in different places.
It is an amazing feeling.
To change places.
My only identity is my suitcase and a bag of fabrics and a broken dress I brought back from Ghana.
But that already is too much.
I need to edit to one manageable suitcase.
My body is changing.
It starts to yield to gravity.
What the fuck am I saying …?
My body has always yielded to gravity.
Every body does.
Law of nature.
That’s why I don’t float lonely in space.
Well, we do as a collective but that’s beside the point.
I always felt gravity more.
Because I always felt heavy.
My mom called it big boned.
Always bigger than my peers.
Which is normal considering that I have African blood in me.
There has to be shape somewhere.
But having been brought up in Northern Europe, where a small butt…
Diary Entry 06..06.2021
When it comes down to it, people want to be lied to.
Because the lie fits in with the way they see the world.
The way they want to perceive it.
I was talking to a friend in the car last night.
He lives with his mother and sister at the moment.
Both don’t know that he smokes cigarettes.
Yet he admits they are both smart women.
One day he was smoking in his room and his sister commented on the smell and asked him if he was smoking.
He told her no.
Dairy Entry 29.05.2021
In Ghana, nobody waits for no one.
Everybody acts and moves on their own accord.
Hence wasting one of the most valuable resources:
The power of working together.
Today, I am travelling from Accra back to my dad’s house in Takoradi to sort out my passport.
A friend of mine does too.
He is planning to take the bus at 11am.
So I thought it might be fun to join him for company since I am in no rush.
We exchanged several texts but no concrete meeting point.
Since there are several bus options, we…
Diary Entry 24.05.2021
This morning I’m being kicked out.
This is twice in two days.
What’s wrong with people.
But I get the message.
I need to keep on bouncing.
I had a day of sleep and it‘a time for more experiences.
If I was allowed to stay today I would’ve been house bound until my mate gets back.
So basically just chilling.
But there is a reason for all of it.
I don’t mind.
I’m basically on a day survival in Accra with low battery and little money walking in 34 degrees coaching course.
A day of…
Diary Entry 23.05.2021
I am strangely exhausted.
Not sure what’s happening.
I’m feeling like I’m in a ditch.
Kantamanto Market the other day took it out of me.
Now I feel constantly harassed.
When I was at the market, the close proximity to people and lack of moving space made me paranoid.
If someone is close, I always reflex, making sure I grab my bag and phone tighter.
I hate that.
I am constantly expecting to be ripped off.
It’s not right.
You can easily adapt and make fun of it but at the moment I’m…
Diary Entry 22.05.2021
That’s how I want to love.
Saves a lot of effort erecting them, overstepping and tearing them down again.
In order to erect new ones.
I know how to better manage my time.
There is so much of it, yet we waste it.
Big time mismanagement.
Setting up boundaries just to overstep the same, is a waste of time.
So is looking at your watch (if you still had one)
What is the easiest to establish, will be the way to go.
Oh, no sorry, not the easiest.
But the most pleasurable.